


An inestimable blessing

by megyal



Category: Naruto
Genre: Fluff, Humor, M/M, Mpreg
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-07-17
Updated: 2009-07-17
Packaged: 2017-10-11 10:21:14
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,219
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/111354
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/megyal/pseuds/megyal
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p><strong>Warnings:</strong> Mixed themes: crack, vaguely darkish sections (warnings for mentions of off-scene sexual assault/rape)</p>
    </blockquote>





	An inestimable blessing

**Author's Note:**

> **Warnings:** Mixed themes: crack, vaguely darkish sections (warnings for mentions of off-scene sexual assault/rape)

_"A baby is an inestimable blessing and bother."_  
-Mark Twain

Tsunade had been watching one of her best shinobi closely for about a week or so, and noted that he was moving a tad slower than usual. In battle, a 'tad' could be fatal, and he was slouching around even more when he was off-duty. As he sauntered past her one day, hands jammed in his pockets, she called out, "Hatake Kakashi? I need you to report for a check-up this evening."

He shot her a surprised one-eyed look and then inclined his head politely. "Of course, Godaime-sama."

Of course, the only way Tsunade finally managed to drag him in was by sending an official summons through both Iruka and Tenzou.

"Here he is," Iruka panted as he gripped a handful of Kakashi's hair, holding up the top-half of a rebellious jounin.

"I'm very sorry, senpai," Tenzou said almost too cheerfully as he commandeered the bottom-half. "But the Hokage said you had to come in."

"I don't need a check-up," Kakashi muttered. His struggles continued and Tsunade was now certain that something was very wrong, because a jounin of Kakashi's level should have been able to escape from these two. Not too easily, because she knew Iruka could play dirty when he put his mind to it, but Kakashi could have done it. It wasn't as if he appeared weak… Kakashi seemed to be moving in an overly careful fashion.

"You look tired," she noted when she finally had him laid out on the examination table. He moved one shoulder in a deceptively languid shrug.

"The last mission you sent me out on, it was… a little more difficult than usual."

Tsunade raised her eyebrows and consulted the files that Shizune had handed to her. The last mission had been undercover and had lasted for about three months. In his report, Kakashi noted that he had been forced to utilize Naruto's Oiroke no Jutsu for an extended period, acting as a ditzy prostitute to delay the suspicions of their targets.

"Did something happen on this mission, other than what you've written in your report?" Tsunade looked up when he did not answer and considered the closed-off expression in that one eye. "Kakashi?"

"No, Godaime-sama." His visible eye curved up cheerfully but Tsunade wasn't fooled.

"He was sick the other day," Iruka called from the waiting room. "Throwing up all over my bathroom."

"Iruka-sensei, please be quiet," Kakashi said dangerously.

"And he ate all the apples in my house. Every last one," Tenzou reported from where he was stationed outside with Iruka.

"You weren't eating them," Kakashi said loudly. "I was helping you out. It isn't good to waste food."

"Kakashi," Tsunade cut in, holding up one hand and staring at Kakashi, who folded his arms across his chest and regarded her evenly. She had her suspicions, but she really wanted to be sure. "Kakashi, as your Hokage, I need to know everything that transpired on your last mission. Everything that you did not report."

He was silent for a moment and then sighed as if all this commotion was taking up a lot more energy than he had expected to put out today.

"Hai, Godaime-sama." Kakashi's voice took on an official air. "In my female form, one of the sources from which I was getting my information decided that he liked me. He took me to bed. I didn't want to lose the data that I was gaining from him, therefore I endured the penetration and forced copulation."

Silence reigned for a beat or so after this dreadfully clinical explanation. Then, the door was kicked open quite unceremoniously and Iruka marched in, his eyes wide and wild. Tenzou followed closely, a gentle expression of concern on his face.

"Are you telling me," Iruka choked out, "that you were… you…"

Kakashi shrugged. "I knew he had a tendency to be extremely talkative _after_ sex. When I heard what I needed, I snapped his neck. It had to be done."

"But… _senpai_," Tenzou started mournfully and for a moment Kakashi seemed deeply annoyed.

"Every shinobi and kunoichi knows that this is the price we pay sometimes, in the line of duty," he lectured. "That's what we are trained for. That's how it goes."

"I don't care," Iruka snapped heatedly. "It's wrong! It's _wrong_ and you shouldn't have killed him right there and then. You should have brought him back to Konoha so I could have torn the skin from his body in tiny strips and make him watch the crows eat it."

"And I would have helped Iruka-sensei with… that skin thing," Tenzou offered, putting an arm around Iruka's trembling shoulders. Tsunade made a mental note to talk to Ibiki about sharing torture tactics with impressionable young teachers. Kakashi was looking up at the two of them with a raised eyebrow, appearing vaguely surprised at their distress.

"Thank you for your concern," he said in a very placid manner. He flinched, however, when Iruka darted from beneath Tenzou's comforting arm and gathered Kakashi in a tight hug. Tsunade suspected that if he had a kunai in hand, he would have lashed out at Iruka quite reflexively; he was far tenser than he appeared, tightly wound under that thin veneer of Cool, as Gai put it.

"You should have told me," Iruka muttered against his neck. "I'm your friend. That's what I'm here for."

Tsunade, who had heard rumours of this so-called 'friendship' and how it involved a lot more sex than was strictly necessary, kept her mouth shut. She looked at Tenzou, who gave her a quick glance as he went to the foot of the examination table and patted Kakashi's bare ankle tentatively. Kakashi relaxed in slow increments and his gloved hand splayed flat across Iruka's back, making slow, contemplative circles. Iruka drew back, looking down at Kakashi with a dawning horror.

"And you let me--!" Iruka's face coloured and his eyes, wide and guilty, flickered in Tsunade's direction. "You let us--"

"_You_ I like," Kakashi said in a low, teasing voice, sounding more like his regular indolent self. Iruka made a shocked squeaky sound in the back of his throat. Despite the severity of the situation, Tsunade wanted to laugh. "You can do whatever you want to me, you and my little kohai here."

Well. Tsunade hadn't known that about _that_. She gave Tenzou a very stern glare; Tenzou had the good grace to blush.

"So this is how I have to find out about the personal lives of all my shinobi," she mused dryly. "But, Kakashi… there's more, isn't there?"

"Ah, well." Kakashi rubbed the back of his head self-consciously and tried to look innocent. Who he was trying to fool, Tsunade had no idea. "Yes, there's more. As you well know, sir."

Tsunade made a face at him; they both knew how she hated it when he called her 'sir'.

"There's _more_?" Iruka's face contorted in rage again. Tsunade hoped he wouldn't go around kicking down other doors; they were made of fine mahogany and were quite expensive. "Who else, Kakashi! Who else hurt you?!"

"Well, it's not exactly a grown person," Kakashi hedged. "And they're not exactly hurting me."

Iruka blinked. Tenzou frowned. Tsunade sighed.

"Kakashi, you should have stayed in your female form, you brat. This would have been so much easier for all of us."

"Maa, I make a better man. But the baby is okay." Kakashi waved a careless hand around. "I'm sure it is. And who else is better to take care of me than the greatest medi-nin in the world?"

"Flattery will get you everywhere," she conceded.

"What," Iruka finally said flatly. "Wait. What?"

Tenzou muttered in disbelief, "Kakashi-senpai, are you having a… baby?"

"Hmm, yes. I'm actually kind of happy, now that I think about it. I won't be the last Hatake, so that's great. I mean, so I killed their other father, I'm sorry they won't be able to know him, but I'm sure they will understand what I had to do."

"I'm going to faint now," Iruka announced. "Tenzou, catch me."

Tenzou was such a great asset to Konoha, Tsunade thought with pride as he deftly caught the unconscious sensei with one of his wood-based jutsus, cradling Iruka's limp body to the floor.

Then she realised that _Hatake Kakashi_ was going to bring a child into this world and raise it, probably while reading Icha Icha at the same time. Oh, no.

"Tenzou," she said quite clearly. "Catch me."

*

Kakashi's 'condition' was placed under a high-level security clearance. Of course, in a hidden village this could mean very little.

Gai was the first one to arrive at Iruka's apartment that very night. Iruka was busy yelling at Kakashi and Tenzou was hiding from the argument on the roof, when Gai burst inside the small space, managing to appear delighted and distressed at the same time.

"You hear me?! You've been through far too much already," Iruka was bellowing. "If you think you're going to be all I-Am-Copynin, you have another thing coming. Tenzou and I won't allow you to be on your own. WE WON'T. Oh, hello, Gai-sensei."

"Iruka-sensei, Kakashi," Gai greeted them with a mournful smile. "My rival! My esteemed and wonderful colleague!"

"Yes?" Kakashi said and belched. "Ouch, gas. Sorry."

"This is why you have to live here with me, and Tenzou will stay too." Iruka's voice was filled with finality. "You need to eat properly and rest."

"I eat," Kakashi said lazily. "I rest." He summoned one of his dogs and told it he wanted a scroll from his home. When it reappeared with the required document, Iruka seized it and ripped it to pieces. Kakashi pouted at him, lips pursed under his mask. "That wasn't work, 'Ruka. That was the list of things I need to buy for the parasite in me."

Gai burst into Manly Tears. "Kakashi, you have bested me _completely_. You have taken this huge Youthful responsibility on yourself, to bring life into the world."

"I didn't exactly have a choice," Kakashi said, a laughing tone in his voice. Then, the expression in his eye became very distant for a moment, almost cool. "But, you know, at one point I was going to get rid of it."

Gai clutched at his chest dramatically. "No, Kakashi!"

Kakashi nodded. He was lounging around half-under the kotatsu, his regulation-issue pants pulled up to the knee to reveal his pale legs. "I was thinking that it would have been the best thing to do. I don't know if I'll make a good parent. But, at least I have Iruka and Tenzou to help me, so I think it will be fine. Hopefully I won't mess with the poor kid's head too much."

Iruka became misty-eyed and bustled off to the kitchen with the excuse of making tea. Gai needed no such excuse.

"Kakashi," he said in watery tones, "You have me as well. Please consider me one of those you can depend on, not only in this Time of Youthful Flowering, but in all stages of life."

"Great!" Kakashi lifted his legs and pointed his toes in Gai's direction. "Could you rub my ankles for me? They're kind of hurting, a lot."

Gai rushed over, kneeling down quickly. "Is your, you know, condition contributing to this?" He massaged Kakashi's ankles soothingly, while surreptitiously trying to eye Kakashi's stomach. Kakashi was fairly skinny, though, and he wasn't showing; in any case, his shinobi clothing was still loose enough at this point.

"What? Oh, no," Kakashi answered, arms flung bonelessly wide as Gai's strong hands rubbed at his feet. "Iruka tried to break my ankles so I wouldn't escape from him. He's very passionate and persistent," he explained at Gai's horrified expression. "And convincing."

"I will take on your missions," Gai promised. Kakashi opened his mouth to complain, caught Iruka's face peering at him ominously from the kitchen and closed his mouth again. "And whatever payment I receive will be put aside for you and your heir."

"Heir," Kakashi said in a considering fashion and his mouth twitched under his mask. "Hmm. I think I like the sound of that."

*

"You're PREGNANT?!" Naruto screeched with laughter when Kakashi explained why, in the time that Naruto was away on a mission, his belly had gotten so obviously round, so much so that Kakashi was waddling delightedly from room to room. Iruka claimed that Kakashi over-waddled, just for the fun of it. "Yeah, right. That's a good one, though. Whenever I get my own genin team and I want to give them a reason I'm late for training, I'll just say, 'Oh I couldn't make it in time, you guys! I GOT PREGNANT ON THE ROAD OF LIFE.'"

"Shut up, Naruto." Sakura was unpacking the small medi-nin bag and inspecting some of the vials closely before handing them over to Kakashi. "Here are your vitamins, Kakashi-sensei," she continued, almost shyly. "Now I need to do a check. Your records show a normal growth so far, which is good. Insanely _bizarre_... but good."

"Wow, you guys are taking this just a bit too far, don't you think?" Naruto mumbled and then stared when Kakashi put down his book and lifted his loose shirt. "Oh shit."

"No cursing!" Iruka yelled from the newly extended bedroom. Tenzou raced into the living room and gave Naruto the creepy eyes.

"Don't," he intoned darkly, "curse around the baby."

Naruto recoiled. "Okay, okay. No cursing around the… oh my god, it's a fucking baby. _Inside my fucking male teacher_."

"NARUTO!" Iruka bellowed.

"Are you very uncomfortable?" Sakura asked, steadfastly ignoring the others. "Is there a lot of pain?"

"Hmm. My back is sore a lot, I suppose," Kakashi informed her. "But otherwise, I'm fine." He was fine, really. He just got a lot more stares than usual when he waddled on the street with his nose buried in his book, ignoring Tsunade's screeches for him to stay inside and get plenty of rest. He was a _Hatake_, and so was the baby. Every Hatake was built strong. Of course, people could have been staring because he was usually trailed by any or all of the following: a glaring Iruka, which was such an odd expression for him that the poor citizens of Konoha were confused; a glaring Tenzou, who had a _really_ good glare; an ANBU or two, who didn't glare so much as stare flatly at people from behind their masks. Sometimes, even the nin-dogs went along, snuffling around him as Kakashi demanded tempura from Tenzou, because he _really wanted_ it, and yes, he was perfectly aware he usually hated the stuff... but not right now, Tenzou-kohai, so just run along and get him some _immediately_, because pregnancy trumps everything else.

People would stare even harder at this whole exchange.

Kakashi thought it was all hilarious. He tried to go for a walk as often as possible, just to see how many individuals he could get to go along with him. It was like a circus and if people wanted to gawk, he should just give them proper spectacle.... apart from the large belly, of course.

"Kakashi-sensei, I know you've been trained to endure great amounts of pain," Sakura said now as she removed her gloves and made a few simple seals; her fingers and hands glowed with a pretty blue light. "But any odd feeling you have, even a very small one, please inform Tsunade-sensei or me as soon as possible."

"Will do!" Kakashi's eye curved into that jolly arch. Sakura smiled back at him.

"Anything at all, alright?" Sakura began moving her hands over the incredible rise of Kakashi's belly; the blue glow flickered and danced. "The baby has a very strong heartbeat, sensei," she said with a wide smile.

"Kicks like a mule, too." Kakashi grimaced and prodded at his own side with one hand. "Stop practicing taijutsu inside there."

"Naruto, come here!" Sakura called excitedly. When Naruto reluctantly made his way over, Sakura pointed at Kakashi's stomach. "Look!"

"I don't see anything." Naruto squinted; then his eyes grew round, until they were like blue and white marbles in his head. There was something _poking_ out of Kakashi's stomach, stretching the skin from the inside. "Oh," he whispered and a small smile touched at his lips. "Sensei… that's amazing."

"When you have someone bouncing on your spleen," Kakashi sighed, "you can come back and tell me if that's amazing."

"No, I mean, it's so weird but… wait. How'd this happen? Who's the other dad? There IS another dad, right?"

The look in Kakashi's eye was completely unreadable; he said nothing. Tenzou was gearing up for another round of creepy eyes.

"Me," Iruka's voice called softly from the bedroom. "I'm the other dad."

"And me," Tenzou declared.

"And me," Sakura said, grinning. "The other mother, of course. So is Tsunade-sensei."

"Wow." Naruto bent his head as he absorbed all their supportive speech. Then he raised his head, nose wrinkled. "You guys are really kind of kinky, though."

*

Being a Hatake, the baby would certainly make a ruckus to get outside just when Kakashi was left with only Rock Lee and the Kazekage for company. Well, _obvious_ company, because there were the three ANBU operatives that Tsunade-sama had placed as protection for him, lurking about on the roof and in the trees. After all, there were many people out there who would see this as a perfect opportunity to finally get rid of the Great and Pregnant Copy-Nin; but to try that, they'd have to go through the entire contingent of the Konoha fighting force, Iruka had pointed out smugly.

Besides, just because a person was pregnant didn't mean they still couldn't defend themselves and kick some ass. Kakashi _could_, as easy as anything. It was really too bad that he had been warned by Tsunade against expending too much of his chakra in this state.

Iruka and Tenzou were out buying a few more items now; as soon as they had left, Rock Lee had bounded in for a visit, dragging along Gaara, who had been in Konoha on a diplomatic mission. Kakashi had been feeling very miserable, but he had greeted them with a wide grin, ignoring the way Gaara's sea-foam eyes had raked over his protruding stomach.

"Kakashi," the Kazekage finally said he watched Kakashi settle clumsily against a pile of large pillows, the pack of nin-dogs bustling around him in a very protective manner. "I had wondered why I didn't see you in the meetings as part of the Hokage's bodyguard detail."

"My body is guarding something else, Kazekage-sama," Kakashi quipped and winced. "I hope it's not a _demon-child_," he said loudly in the direction of his stomach. He looked up at Gaara's impassive face. "Not that some demon-children won't grow out their evil… you know."

The corner of Gaara's mouth twitched.

"Kakashi-sensei, this is so wonderful," Lee gushed, fluttering around Kakashi. "I feel like my heart is bursting open! We are all so ready to meet this miracle!"

"Oh, that's nice." Kakashi began getting up again, a laborious activity that Lee watched in confusion for a moment before rushing to help him. "I think the baby is ready to meet you too."

Lee's mouth fell open. "Now, Kakashi-sensei?"

"Yes. Now."

While Lee was running around babbling and tumbling over the dogs, which were all baying uselessly, Gaara walked over to the large sliding door to the tiny patio and opened it. A masked Sand shinobi and a cloaked ANBU agent appeared almost immediately.

"One of you, go to the Hokage's office and inform her that the newest Hatake is on their way. And the other, locate… what's the name of the sensei, Lee?"

"Iruka-sensei! And, and Tenzou as well."

"Yes, tell them that we're taking Kakashi to the hospital."

"Hai, Kazekage-sama." The two shinobi flashed out of sight and Gaara turned to look at Kakashi and Lee, who were both inhaling and exhaling deeply together. Out of the two of them, Lee appeared more frantic.

"Alright." Gaara clapped his hands together authoritatively and sand began hissing out of his gourd. "Let's go."

Kakashi had not been aware that riding on moving dunes of sand could be so gentle and comfortable; as a bonus, Gaara managed to get them there completely cloaked, veils of sand dancing around them so that they were shielded from the gazes of curious onlookers.

Tsunade arrived just as the nurses had finished prepping Kakashi, appearing odd in her surgical gear.

"So the brat is ready to come out?" She asked, cracking her knuckles. "I've never done this before on a man. I think I'll have to write a paper on it, so that if any other shinobi decide to get themselves pregnant, we'll know exactly what the procedure is." She thought for a moment. "Because you know this is going to be the thing to do, since _you've_ done it."

"I'm ahead of the game, what can I say." Kakashi raised an eyebrow at her, looking calm as he reclined in the bed. Tsunade noticed, however, that despite his outward relaxed appearance, he was holding both Iruka's and Tenzou's hands in a very tight grip. "Are you going to get it out, or not?"

She smiled at him. "Yes. We're going to get it out. You'll both be just fine."

*

"What is that," Kakashi said groggily from behind his mask when Tsunade put something small and pink and wriggly in his arms. "Someone take this from me, I don't know what it is." He peered down at it. "Why is it making so much noise?"

"It's your baby," Iruka explained in a hushed voice, seated beside the bed. Kakashi blinked. "Kakashi, she's beautiful."

Kakashi boggled at him for a moment and looked around his hospital room; Tenzou and Naruto were also inside, staring happily at the bundle in his arms. Sakura and Tsunade went into an adjoining room, stripping off the green robes they had been wearing. Kakashi noticed that there was blood on Tsunade's hands… his blood. He looked down again at the child in his arms, which had now stopped fussing and was gazing back up at him myopically.

"Oh," Kakashi said, feeling a little slow. "It's a _girl_." She had the typical Hatake hair, fine and so light-blonde at this stage; it would definitely gray out later. Her face didn't look particularly different from all the newborn photos he had pored over in the past nine months… but she was his daughter. Kakashi stared at her. His daughter.

"What's her name?" Naruto asked, leaning against the door and flailing when it opened out a little. In that moment, before the door swung back into place, Kakashi could see a crowd of shinobi and some citizens waiting outside. He clutched his daughter a little closer, feeling extremely protective. The nin-dogs puffed into sight, probably pulled to his location by the sheer weight of his emotion and were chased out by Tsunade into the corridor.

"Sakiko," he answered Naruto's question and pressed a finger in one of her tiny hands. Her small fingers, perfect and pure, closed around his, and he knew that she held his heart in her hands; a very dangerous state of affairs for a man like Kakashi, but he actually felt content about it right now. Maybe the drugs that Tsunade had put in him for the surgery were still active. "Hatake Sakiko."

"That's a good name," Iruka said. "She's so lovely."

"She's the best baby in the whole world," Naruto declared. "I dare _anyone_ to say otherwise."

"Let them try," Tenzou said and cracked his knuckles dangerously. "And if anyone tries to hurt her, I'll bash their faces into a tree." He looked around at their shocked expressions. "What? It's true."

"Thank you," Kakashi said and grinned at them tiredly. "Could I have a moment?"

"Oh, of course!" Sakura shoved the rest of them out, respectfully letting Tsunade walk out under her own power.

Tsunade nodded at him before she let the door close. "I'll get the wet-nurse in here soon," she promised and then it was just Kakashi and his daughter

"Hello," Kakashi told the baby. She closed her eyes and opened them again, very slowly. "I'm your father. I had to kill your other father. I hope you don't hate me for that when you get older."

Sakiko didn't seem to have a problem with that fact right now. She closed her eyes and pursed her lips at him.

"I am going to try my best, I promise," Kakashi continued softly. "I'm not a perfect man. I'm not a very good man, but I have… precious people close to me who make me better. You'll meet them all soon."

Sakiko was almost completely asleep and Kakashi pondered the solid, warm weight of her in his arms.

"By the way," Kakashi said, "when you get older I'm going to have to kick your ass for making me so uncomfortable all these months. I'm the Copynin, so I can do that."

Sakiko's little mouth moved up in an involuntary smile at this obvious lie.

"Now, Sakiko," Kakashi began as he settled comfortably in the bed, "let's start with the proper way to hold and throw a shuriken…"

_fin_

**Author's Note:**

> **Beta'ed by:** the awesome [](http://malifique.livejournal.com/profile)[**malifique**](http://malifique.livejournal.com/) and the amazing [](http://okubyo-kitsune.livejournal.com/profile)[**okubyo_kitsune**](http://okubyo-kitsune.livejournal.com/); any remaining errors are a result of me dicking around after they put their magic touch to it.


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